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As soon as I would say something after sex she would say no I am happy with you. I told her how it turned me on how horny and she would get during my fantasy sessions and how she would be so much more into sex when I would fantasize aloud. She would tell me again I am to fat and other guys wouldn't got for it. She also told me she didn't want to have sex with other couples becasue she didn't want to see me with another woman. I told her we wouldn't have to involve another woman she could go have an affair and tell me about it afterwards. She said no way she couldn't do that. Weeks would go by and I would bring it up again during sex and she said another guy would be turned off by her size. I asked her what if I found a guy that wasn't would she consider it. She finally said I would have to see what he looked like she wouldn't want just anyone. After she said that we had had an awesome night of sex, and I pointed out how awesome the sex was after just talking about it and. . . ‘They spit on my Gift, Grandma. They want me to fight and wrestle with them. They’d rather I punch ’em in the eye than be nice to them, Grandma. They don’t want me.’ The sobs erupted then. I took him to me, and he heaved his misery on my shoulder. I felt so sad for him. So sorry. I thought I had a tough job in this world. I didn’t envy Paul the strength and forbearance it would take him to fulfill his mission. All I could do was try to add my own strength to his. But my heart was breaking along with his. Finally, once he had gotten himself under control, he looked me square in the eye. ‘I don’t wanna be special, Grandma. I’m not gonna be.’ I met his gaze with equanimity. ‘No one can force you to do anything you don’t want to do, Paul. But you will never be truly content until you obey the call of the Golden Axiom.’ He hugged me then. ‘I love you, Grandma. I’m gonna go now.’ * * * * * * * * * I had not felt this dejected since that day, so long ago, when Angela had refused her.
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